Tuesday, June 18, 2013

I meet a lot of strange dudes...

So the strangest thing happened to me yesterday.  This is not really related to sexuality (I hope) but I thought I'd share anyway.

At the end of the day, right around when most 9-5ers are returning...I was crossing the street...minding my own business...when all of a sudden, in the middle of the crosswalk,  a dude with a shaved head, blazer and hipster girl by his side...approached me, huge smile on his face and everything. He grabbed my hand and said  'hi! ' in the friendliest way ever. 

I was totally confused,  so I said hi back politely and asked him  'do we know each other? '

His expression changed suddenly...and he looked disappointed...made a clicking sound with his tongue... 'we met at the...' and trailed off...

'Dude hurry the fuck up and tell me' I thought to myself...as the traffic light counted down to zero.... he had really got me curious now. I may be bad with names but I dont often forget faces.  And he was so certain too...

'Where did we meet?' I asked him.

He shrugged his shoulders in a defeated manner and pointed to the other end of the street  'I've gotta go...my girlfriend'

And just like that he walked off. Wtf? 
Why on earth did he stop me in the middle of the street?  Why was it so important to say hi at that moment?  And why on earth did he not tell me where we had met?  Was he just lying?  He couldn't have been hitting on me....his girlfriend was right there.  Though it was strange how she kept walking when he stopped.  Usually,  if im with someone who stops to talk to someone...I dont just walk away. Maybe he realized mid conversation that he didn't know me...or maybe he just bet his gf that he could talk to me in the middle of the street or somethin....

Whatever his reasons were, I was left confused and so curious, heh...

Oh well.  I was telling my husband this story when I got home. His first response,  'hon,  why do u always meet such weird guys? Must be the piercings.'

Hahah I love how he just blames the piercings for attracting weirdos.

I have had many a strange introduction from men (some women too actually) in the past.  Especially back in uni when my appearance was more extreme and the wearing of corsets more frequent...something about looking different from the norm perhaps makes ppl think id be up for all kinds of weird shit and strange conversations. But aside from a few piercings, generous amounts of eyeliner...I thought I was doing a good job of blending in...perhaps not...u can take the girl out of the goth,  but u cant take the goth out of the girl... *shrug*

Let me tell u a tale of long, long ago before I finish off. So back when I was young child of the night,  running around in uni...one halloween I was a nun. A bondage nun of course....whip,  strategic duct tape, six inch heeled boots, dog collars and all (In fact I think all my halloween costumes in uni involved my collars lol)...so I was standing in the pub with my friends,  again minding my own business,  drinking in the holy glory that is all Hallows eve (my favorite holiday) ...and in comes a priest. I didn't really notice he was walking toward me until it was too late.  He had already dipped me,  kissed me -on the fuckin mouth- and introduced himself. 

My friends stood around us, jaws dropped...like wtf...who does that?  We' re not in a movie...waiting to see how I'd respond. Lucky for him I was feeling particularly festive. It was halloween after all.  I was young,  full of booze and kind of intrigued...so I didn't kick him in the nuts...I did say wtf or something..but then we all laughed...he was a friend of a friend too.
.. I dunno,  somehow he pulled it off.  And because I didn't feel violated it wasn't sexual assault,  but had I been freaked out or scandalized,  obviously the perception of this incident would be a very different one. So gentlemen, I do not recommend this as a way to pick up or impress ladies.

This guy is now my friend,  he's married too, and sometimes at parties this story will still come up. ..and both of us just cringe and laugh,  as do our spouses I imagine. ..but this was way before them.

Anyhow moral of the story,  dont introduce urself with a dip and a kiss on the mouth!  Common courtesy is to at least know the person desires a kiss from u. U could also end up with a damaged scrote :)

Anyway so thats that...a couple of entertaining (I hope) stories from my present and my past. But srsly,  wtf do u think was up with the dude from yesterday?