You're such a Pakistani Rockstarrrr (manson reference for those of u who werent spooky kids in ur youth)

So I was practicing photoshop selection skills for my class and wondered what it'd be like if our respectable/beloved politicians were indeed the rockstars they pretend to be...

Now mind you, some of these hybrid creatures turned out better than others.... and I have only taken a beginners photoshop class... so don't be criticizing my skills, cuz I'm well aware they aren't the best...

you may critique me after i take PhotoShop 2  :)

Anyhoo, thought i'd share these with you, because I found them amusing... also, I'd just like to throw out that this is in no way an endorsement for any of the politicians... they are all pretty evil as far as I'm concerned ... and I actually like some of these musicians/singers (no, not bieber) - so however cool one of these rockstars might be, it is not a reflection upon how cool/uncool the pakistani politician in the picture is.

Enjoy.

yea i got lazy with altaf....realised i was using a 

hard brush, then didnt bother to do it over again..

shit happens, *shrug* 

"I had an arranged marriage with my cousin and if I shoot myself one day, I think that will be the reason why."

Image from an earlier post ABCs for Little Pakistanis

2 days ago, someone sent me an incredibly disturbing video.

The person sent it out of concern for the poor girl in this video. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since. The sender told me that it was a very graphic clip of a girl in Pakistan being raped by more than one individual. I don't know what I was thinking, perhaps I thought I could report it to the authorities or something, i certainly couldn't just sit there and do nothing... I needed to make sure that it was what they said it was, so I watched it. I really wish I hadn't. I couldn't understand most of what was being said (I was informed it is in Saraiki), but body language is universal. Though very graphic, it seemed like a simulation to me. The girl wasn't really putting up a fight. Just blankly saying 'no, no'... I don't know what the background is, but I'm pretty sure that anyone being overpowered sexually, against their will will put up some sort of a defense...

It seemed fake, and I'm trying to find some peace in that. In knowing that the girl was in on it... but there is still something in the back of my mind saying what if it wasn't, what if she was drugged....I will never know...and I dont know if anyone would care enough to look into the matter, as far as Pakistani authorities are concerned. If someone were to report it, they could easily make a case for it being fake...they might even have been informed already.  

And this is one major issue with there even being a market for these simulated violent/rape videos. Even though its simulated... or so they say it is.... it creates a demand for further exploitation of women... and the lines get blurred... no one ever really knows what conditions such movies are filmed under.. how simulated and how real something really is... especially if its coming from a remote region in Pakistan, there are no rules and regulations surrounding the safety of sex workers there, heck you can get away with rape and even murder depending on who you are... 

So clearly there is some very dark pornographic material being filmed in our 'conservative' country --- but there is no one to turn to.... 

I certainly wont forward it to anyone, because things like this should not be shared, unless there is a purpose... such videos need to be stopped in their tracks. 

Its probably fake, but I can't unsee it. What the fuck should I do? 

---------------

Anyhow, here is an interview I've been meaning to share for a while now, along with some correspondence we had: 

Hello, I love your blog. its ....so informative!! learning about all the crazy stuff pakis r into is such a nice feeling considering uptill i read it i thought i was the only freak in pakistan.

anyways... i read u wouldnt mind interviewing pppl  so...   i'd love putting my two cents in... i'd like to be interviewed

send me an email if ur interested.... fingers crossed...

and great job with the site man.. did i already say i loved it??? good luck..

regards,
Khan

---------

Hello E!

I have filled out the form (attached). I would like to give u a brief* (hopefully) intro about myself.. so here goes.

I am in most respects a normal 28 yr old married guy. I am pathan and have a good education and totally religious and conservative parents and family life. what most people do not know about me is that i am a total freak. I have been having sex with boys and girls and men and women since i could remember. I got married about 3 years ago. It was an arranged marriage with my cousin and i wasnt even consulted about it. Its normal for where i come from, where the guy bugs his parents about getting married and is thankfull that they found him a bride and he is expected to be gratefull for it. Me, i had a good education in a co-ed school, i watched a lot of english movies and i had much more ideas than anyone of my age group. I act very obedient and devout in front of my parents and family but i regularly carry on affairs with guys and girls and i generally have sex whenever i get the chance. 

I have like these awesome (if i do say so myself) ways and methods where i have ensured that i dont get caught. My wife is oblivious and so are my parents. i plan to keep it that way. I hit on girls and find guys online and i meet them for sex and other activities. i spend money on hookers and goto strip parties and stuff. i watch a lot of porn and have a rather large choice collection. what amazes me is that i dont feel like i am doing anything wrong. I have been told cheating on ur spouse is very bad. I cant process that. What she doesnt know, cant hurt her. I am very carefull about stds and stuff but beyond that... i think i have done everything a pakistani can do. which includes having an affair with my best friend's wife. ... I cannot stop thinking about having sex with every slightly attractive man/ woman boy/ girl i meet. ... i dont know why it is. 

anyways. I plan on writing a book about all the different ways and methods of how to be a successfull cheater!!  lol... doesn't that sound like being a dick??? which i am not. i know cuz ive been told by every guy/girl i have met that im  a very nice guy. very agreeable and good company to be around. Infact my uni graduation title was Mr. Goody 2 shoes. .. 

So there... thats the intro. 

What do u think about the book idea?? does it make any sense? i have never written anything beyond my academic subjects and have no clue how the publishing bussiness works.. do u think it will be a good book? should i even consider writing sucha thing? 

would love ur ideas... 

Regards,
Khan

------

The one thing that stands out to me is your lack of remorse. And I'm not judging you for that - Thats not what I'm here for, Its just surprising that you can cheat on an innocent unsuspecting woman so often and not feel the slightest bit of remorse. I mean, perhaps its because you were forced into it, you obviously resent her in some way for that. Though its not her fault either...at least you're able to explore your sex life/lust and desires in whatever ways you choose - but imagine her life -- she's stuck in a forced marriage with someone who isn't the least bit interested in her, and on top of that she is unknowingly opressed by the traditional gender role (that of a quiet, obedient, subservient wife)  that she expects herself to fit into....

I don't know how you can better your/her situation without (openly) stepping outside of some cultural norms that both of you will prolly not be comfortable with. 

You say you're a nice, agreeable man-- a 'goody-two-shoes' but in reality, you're treating your wife very unfairly. She's just there to fulfil her role as a spouse and child-bearer, but I dont think there is much emotion or affection involved. It seems more than a little dehumanizing to me. She is a person, after all, with feelings just like you. Imagine how she would feel if she discovered your constant unfaithfulness. Its not about 'what she doesnt know wont hurt her' , its about if she knew, how would she feel? And even though you say you are careful with protection re:STDs , I think she has a right to know if her partner is promiscuous, because she could potentially be exposed to health risks...it's just plain wrong to keep her in the dark about that...

As for your book idea, erm.... well objectively speaking, there is a market for almost anything... and often for douchey things.... so perhaps there is an audience for your book - as vile as it sounds to me. 

I am in a trusting, monogamous relationship myself and I can't imagine how you could sleep easy at night, knowing that you helped people cheat on spouses/partners who trusted them. Its just unethical, imo. Look up Ashley Madison... we have a whole goddamn dating service dedicated to assisting cheaters here. 

Other than that, I'm glad you've enjoyed the blog. No you are most certainly not the only 'freak' out there... there are all kinds. 

Lets get on with your interview, shall we? 

Khan, 28, Male

At what age (approximately) and how did you come to know about sexual intercourse?
I started playing doctor with my cousins (male and female) when I was about 8. I was just curious at that time. I saw a dirty movie with my guy cousins when I was about 12 and the cunnilingus totally grossed me out but curiosity got the better of me and I watched the whole movie and let my cousins (2 of them) teach me how to jerk off. I listened to all their theories and stories about sex intently and believed every word they said. I learnt the whole sex part and how it can be fun but, I really understood the whole reproduction process from my biology book in the 8th grade and was too afraid to ask anyone about it before that.

Is Pakistan sexually repressed as a nation?
I cant speak for others. I think I am very repressed but then again I think I’m a raging sexaholic so I cant be sure. I have extremely religious parents, and a very religious cousin for a wife, and if they know what goes on in my head half the time, or find out what I am upto on my “study” excursions in Islamabad, my parents will disown me and my wife will kill me.

Its interesting that you bring up  the words 'religious' and 'sexaholic' when talking about repression. In your opinion, is your very active sex drive attributed to the fact that you were raised in a very religious environment?

Have you ever had/Do you enjoy having sex? 
My first real sexual experience was with a cousin when I was 12. He was the top and I was the bottom. I Didn’t like it. It was very messy and gross. He was around 15 and when he came, it looked like the stuff that comes out when you blow your nose and I almost puked and I didn’t have another experience with anyone else. When I was 15, I started playing around with my class-mate. We were both the same age, we both took turns and then both of us jerked off together. We tried our first penetration after watching a hetro-porn movie and that was the first time I really enjoyed it. First experience with a girl didn’t come until the 8th grade when my cousins brought a hooker to their house and I was coaxed into it. We used the saathi condoms and she practically walked me through it. I have not stoped enjoying sex with either sex ever since.

I'm glad you were informed enough to use a condom even though you were young. And you are the third interviewee that I've heard from who had their first (hetero)sexual experience with a sex worker. 

On premarital sex:
I guess no one can remain celibate. I think its like an addiction, once you have sex, you crave it eternally and I have had a lot of pre-marital so I can’t just come out and say its bad. I think one should use condoms and get tested before marriage.

Did you get tested before marriage? And do you continue to do so, regularly? I think that is the least you can do to insure your wife is not exposed to STDs, especially if you're not planning on informing her about your encounters. 

On Arranged Marriage: 
I had an arranged marriage with my cousin and if I shoot myself one day, I think that will be the reason why.

Wow. That was a very heavy sentence right there.... jesus....I don't even think you realise how disturbed you are by this forced marriage you are in. I think you need to sit back, re-read this interview and re-assess the situation.... 

The girl looks too much like my sister. I didn’t even see the her till my marriage night. I couldn’t get an erection for 21 days after our marriage.

I can completely sympathize with you. It must have been awful, for both of you...I have trouble understanding why you continue to stay in this type of a relationship though... clearly... it makes you very very unhappy... maybe your sexual encounters are your way of acting out, rebelling in a way... trying to take back control in some manner.... Since you must have felt so powerless when you were betrothed against your will. I can't even believe I wrote that last sentence to someone from this century, to be honest...

It has improved with time and now I have sex with her everyday sometimes twice but its more out of necessity then anything else.

Holy shit, every day? Sometimes twice a day? Why? Why is that even necessary if you don't feel anything for her? Are you trying to impregnate her? 

I do not hate her, I just don’t love or like her.

Again, this srikes me as something very important. You don't love her... but you don't even like her... and to spend eternity with someone you don't even like seems like torture... do you think she feels the same way about you? 

If I had a hooker for a wife who would agree to participate in gangbangs and let me do my thing I’d have been happy.

Why does it have to be a 'hooker'? Are you saying you'd want your wife to sleep with others for money? Does that arouse you? And you really wouldn't be jealous if your wife participated in group sex? I would be curious to know the answers to those questions...

If I was unmarried I would have been the happiest man in the world. They never even asked me if I wanted to get married. They just said, we have decided 20th February as your marriage date. I made all the fuss I could but couldn’t make them budge an inch. My whole upbringing was never to question their wisdom and now I hate them for it. I think I am in sex overdrive because I don’t find a lot of pleasure in my marriage. I don’t find her hot, so I have sex with girlfriends, hookers, gay guys anywhere I can get it. (sigh)

Ah, that answers the question I asked earlier...so you do see it as a cause and effect type of thing... Honestly, I dont know what your relationship with your parents is like... but I can't see why you wouldn't just walk out....perhaps I just cant relate because I've lived abroad my whole life.... I don't think its right for anyone to force anyone into such a marriage... guy or girl... and it disturbs me greatly that this is still happening. We are creating generations of children as a result of forced unhappy marriages... and these children can't be too stable coming from such a home...the damage is transgenerational... and i don't think we realize the extent of it.

On Sex & Equality:

I prefer to act dominant and sometimes role play as a submissive and I don’t think its equal. I may not like something and still do it just to give my partner the pleasure.

On Sex & Exploration:
I think I have watched more porn in Pakistan than anyone else and I like all kinds. I think one should try everything because I thought I didn’t like a lot of things and the grossed me out but when I tried them, I find that I like them. What I have tried and liked are oral (giving/ receiving guy/girl) sm, bondage, rough, abuse, domination, role play and voyeur.

What do you think nature and the physical differences between men and women have to do with gender roles in society?
I don’t understand this question either. Well I understand what you’r trying to ask but I couldn’t be bothered about society or gender roles or whatever. My mind is already too ****** up without having to think about mundane stuff like that.

Well, I dont think it's mundane...in my opinion stereotypical gender roles are the root cause of the type of oppression/coercion you have experienced... 

Have you ever experienced a multiple orgasm?
Nope. I don’t know what that is for a guy. I once came while having anal sex. Does that count?

Yeah totally, that prolly happened from your prostate being stimulated.

Have you ever found or had your g-spot found?
I think so. There is this small spot inside my wife and she goes crazy whenever I lick it or touch it. She shudders and moans and twitches.. Is that it?

Sounds like it is... but there is some debate about the existence of the g-spot in general....

Do you know anyone who has sex but has not yet experienced an orgasm? What are your thoughts on that?
Nope. Unlucky is all I can say.

Do you think about sex every day? 
Yes. About 400-500 times probably. Every man/ woman I see, I judge whether I would sleep with him/her or not. Those I like, I picture naked and think about things I would do to them. this process is about 10 seconds.

Holy shit. Wow. 

Do you think sex plays a major role in your life? 

Yes. With all the porn, the sex, the fantasizing, the sexcapades. Hell yes

Haha yes, since these are pre-written questions, sometimes they are redundant. Apologies. 

On Masturbation:
I love it. Though I have found a long time ago that if I masturbate regularly for a week or so without having sex in the meantime, my performance during actual sex considerably decreases and sometimes I cant even get a erection during the real process. If I refrain from masturbation for 3, 4 days, I frequently consider myself superman.

On Pornography:
I love watching porn. I have probably seen more porn than anyone in Pakistan. I know its kind of abusive to the actresses who work in it, and they’r probably being exploited but… still…. I like watching it. Especially the rough violent types. The simulated rape stuff, the degrading girls sorts.. I don’t know why I like those but I still do ..

Well, at least you're honest. And at least that's make believe. But I must admit... when I read this answer of yours...I had to think for a long long while about what I would say to this. It made me incredibly uncomfortable..any mention of rape/violence and non-consent makes my skin crawl. And I have no issues with S&M so I really had to think about why...

The difference is, that the violence in SadoMasochism is desired, craved. Sometimes even begged for. It is definitely consensual. The simulated rape and violence stuff... makes me sick to my stomach because they are simulating that it is non-consensual and the fact that someone gets off on that is hard for me to wrap my head around.  I do however understand that sexual fantasies are a completely different realm from reality. Many fantasize about things they would never act upon... but still.... its definitely a grey area...I think if my partner were really into watching pretend rape and pretend violence... It would lead to some very serious talks....Beyond this, I'm quite speechless really.. I don't know how I can tie this up neatly.... so I wont....

To what extent, in comparison with the rest of the world, do you think people practice bestiality (sex with animals) in this country? 
Now that is something I find totally repulsive. Its just animal cruelty. Yet Ive heard of a few people having done it once or twice. I think the comparison is very small but im only guessing.

What are your thoughts on homosexuality?
I once thought I was a homosexual. I was in a relationship with another guy for about 2 years. And I don’t mind it. But now I know im not a homo. Im maybe… a try-sexual.. lol as in that movie. Where the guy says I’ll try-anything-sexual. Homos are aight. I love them. glad to have them.

Do you think education is important, when it comes to something like sexuality? 
Hell yea. People need to know how to have safe sex. Many of my cousins who I used

to play with, I have found, are engaging in unprotected sex with hookers. I try to tell

them about it but they never take me seriously. I have cut them off.

You have cut them off sexually you mean? 

What kind of role do you think sex plays in religion?
Islam is …. Well not properly implemented. If I had 4 wives, and a few slaves, I think I would never have any sex outside of marriage. The wives would drive me insane but I think I’d be satisfied, sexually-speaking. Apart from that, I think sex is gracefully accepted by Islam as something natural unlike the negative view that Christianity has of it. But the sex I practice, lol, I know I’m going to hell for it.

*No Comment*

Do you think we have a problem in this country with sexual predators and Paedophiles, and to what extent, in comparison with the rest of the world?
Yes definitely there is a huge problem with pedophiles. But I don’t think its more than the rest of the world and we need more education and openness about it to stop it. Beyond that, im out of ideas.

As far as sex lives are concerned, do you ever wonder what other people in this country are doing? 
I think everyone else is a saint and im the sinner. I think they are living their lives

repressing their desires and Im the only one acting on them. but I know that is just

being naïve and im wrong.

Yeah, you should read the blog more often...u will see that is not the case

What are your thoughts on oral sex: 
I love it, giving/ receiving with guy/girl. Nothing could be better though there are

very few who know how to do it properly.

Would you morally, ethically or in any way have a problem marrying someone who has had sex with someone else before you? 

Me personally, I have had pre-maritial sex. And although I have never fantasized about cuckolding I think it would be okay if she had had sex before. I dont mind applying the same standards on myself and my wife.

Not having double standards is always good. 

Are you more conservative in bed or do you consider yourself to have a 'wilder' side than most? 

I like it as wild as I can get it. With the wife, I often let her do her thing, lights off and the way she wants it. With girlfriends, boyfriends and hookers, I do whatever comes into my head and never let them turn the lights off. Slapping, choking, abuse, spitting, videos, yelling .. everything goes.

--------

Hi thank u for getting back to me so promptly.

I have to ask though, when u say u have sex with men/women and boys/girls do u mean underage children? I certainly hope that is not the case.

And when u mention that u enjoy the rape fantasy stuff, is that limited to fantasies...or do u think u would actually want to over power someone in that way? 

These are questions I had to ask. 

E

--------

boys girls mean 18-24. i aint no pedophile and i think they all need to be castrated and electrocuted... so there

and rape means simulated rape ofcourse.. cuz that would have that macho abuse angle. i cud never rape someone even if i wanted to cuz u see if i get the slightest inkling my partner isnt enjoying wht im doing, i lose my erection.... and i think its kinda cruel too. but those pornos are kinda hot cuz they have that slapping and abuse stuff going on so...

so no pedophile and no rapist here…

-Khan

Yes this is a fake email ID. I am a researcher on sex topics.

terror ******	6:04 AM (3 hours ago)

Asalam o Alikum,

Yes this is a fake email ID. I am a researcher on sex topics. And on controversial topics... mostly a battle between science and religion.  

I am a religious person. Not much practicing but i try to improve my self more and more according to islam. 

I am here to know about you :P

R u muslim? Ur education etc etc :P 

Looking forward for a reply... well lets see were it goes :P 

Allah Hafiz

-------------

Why hello, Mr. 'Terror*****' what an inviting fake name you have chosen. Who wouldn't be motivated to respond to such a genuine, warm-hearted email. 

I am shocked that this is a fake email ID, if you had not informed me of this - I would have never known. 

Since you are a researcher on 'sex topics' I would naturally assume that you'd have an official, science-y / researcher email ID. Even if you had to create a fake one, you could have made one that would back your story up and make it seem more authentic (just some friendly advice for next time). Perhaps something like; sex.researcher@gmail.com or  info.sexresearch@gmail.com would have been more suited. 

Sex topics AND controversial topics? My my, you must be a busy bee researching something as broad as 'controversy' in general. I'm impressed. 

Most of all, I'm impressed with your knowledge of technical terms often used in the scientific study of sexuality. You have indeed displayed that you are an experienced sex researcher. 

And thank you very much for sharing the relevant information about your personal religious habits. No sex research conversation is complete without the sharing of such vital information. 

Interesting that you want to know about me specifically. How exactly will my religious beliefs and my educational background assist you in your research? I would be more than happy to oblige if you could provide me with the connection. 

Here is your reply, and prompt too, I might add.

Good Day Sir. 

-Eiynah 

ps. It isn't going much further than this. 

"I am particlaulry interested in long hairs of women"

Some of you have mentioned that you'd like to see the messages/emails that don't make it on the blog. Here is a fine example of the 'gems' I often receive:

HI ,

I want to contribute my experiences also starting from my adult life. But let me tell you i am not very fluent in english so will use roman urdu too.

So i am right now 26 and male. I lived in Faisalabad and now living in Islamabad. i have something very different as per sex rules. I am particlaulry interested in long hairs of women. I like too much sexual appeal for the women  with hip length hairs. Interestingly i masturbated to get adultatry while thinking of my aunt who had a very thick long hip kissing braid. She use to come in ur house on and off later i trued to touch the braid while thinking that hairs have no sensor system isi liyeah jab kattay hain dard nahi hota. I think she felt this thing and once when she came to our house i was sitting behing her i tried to touch her braid and she felt. but surprisingly she get her braid off her dopata and put in front then throw it on back... in those time whenever she came to our home and sit outside in the lawn i use to masturbate. In those days there came another neighbour whose aunt had sexy braid too. She later cut her hairs and i was very sad of her. Later after i searched interent and found that hair sex is very attractive as lot of models offer hair jobs. I forget to told u that while i was in metric i fall in love with a gril who agreed to start the affair after i acdepted her shart of kissing her. At that time i had no idea of french kiss so i did not tasted it. However, later on french kiss is the hotest thing that erose my shaft well. I have a huge collection of long hair photos and i use to masturbate on and off by watching them. I have downloaded several porn movies featuring long hair models like lena li and ange venus. I love to masturbate on NOOR also. I have experienced phone sex too with several Pakistani and foreign girls. Once i had an experience with a girl who called her Saima . i uploaded her 200 Rs on jazz and she did phone sex with me. knowing that i love long hairs se said " lo main nay joori khola. apna lun is main daaalo. aa mera hont chooso, mei zaban chooso,yeah lo main nay apnay baal tumahray lund per cherha diey , bla bla bla.."' laterr i also had a sex on skype with an indian gril. She talked in english keh fill my vagina etc etc.... But the most lovely talk i had was with a gril from Multan. She was house hold lady unmarried and she had long hairs.i dont had a sex chat with her but i talked a lot about her hairs. She later gopt married and told me ab hum wo sab kertay hain jis ki kabhi batain kertay thyey. since us ka mian koi itna kamal nahi hai wo kehti keh hontoon wali chummi ka maza nahi aata mujhay. haan main roz subah apnay baalon say tapkata pani us per gira ke usay uthati hn... aaj kal main french kissing or long hairs wali videos baanta hn or upload kerta hn. meri shadi honay wali hai and i wish key meri bv kay lmabay baal hn ta keh main us say bhi sexker sakoon..

image from: http://whatsupwithred.blogspot.ca/

So there u have it folks :)

I really dislike Valentines Day...but here are some sex toys;

Normally, I don't do a post on Valentines day, cuz really - its pretty silly. I don't want to partake in this forced jubilation that everyone feels obligated to participate in.... I find it to be a gag-inducing  false proclamation of love... always have. When I was single I hated it, and ppl thought I hated it cuz i was single... umm no, I just think its foolish.

My friend used to do a campus radio show in the middle of the night... it was great, he'd play all kinds of fun gothy/industrial treats. Every valentines day he invited me to be a guest co-host on his radio show --- we'd go to the pub beforehand and get warmed up with a couple of pitchers... then head on over to the station. And talk all kinds of crap, heh - we'd hate on Vday a whole lot. Play lots of angry german music... It was a pretty kick ass way to celebrate valentines day...

Anyhow, a couple of years into uni, I met my husband and our relationship quickly progressed from being best friends to more. We were crazy in love... those early days...were like being on crack. It was pretty fan-fucking-tastic (not that im saying crack is fantastic, I actually wouldn't know - but u know what I mean).... and surprise surprise - my opinion on Vday never changed. It was just as gag-inducing.... hearts ....red ...pink ....cupid ... ugh.. No thank you. Give me bats, bondage collars and black any day - but do not inundate me with cutesy stuff. Please.

But in all fairness, Toronto isn't that bad... sure u'll see cutout hearts on shop windows, etc... maybe some heart shaped treats being sold - but its definitely not as in-your-face as Pakistan. Well, can't speak for all of Pakistan, but when I lived in Karachi, I must admit I was taken aback by the obligatory-ness of Valentines day... I mean even the beggars on the street were in Vday spirit..the street vendors were trying to sell heart shaped things and pushing roses into your car window, forcing ppl to buy them because - hey its Valentines day!

I was like??! When did this become a more important holiday than Eid. Very bizarre. Of course, I'm obviously not from the 'We're too Muslim to celebrate Vday' camp. But maybe its a reactionary thing.. perhaps this pushback in the form of pink and red hearts is a necessary evil...

But really? can we not find any other way to combat extremism? If we really can't then I'll get behind Vday for this one reason. Cuz it pisses the crazies off. And in that spirit, I will do a sexy post just for you valentines day celebrators.

*   *   *

So, for this post; I decided to venture to the largest sex store in Toronto... and ask some questions, take some pictures (which had to be taken very discretely cuz im not sure if they allow pictures or not) ...

Started the day off with a midday lunch date, with my partner in crime and oh so supportive husband. It was a pretty standard Japanese restaurant. We made it there in time for their bento box lunch specials (yes kids, when u've been married for a while, a bento box lunch is considered a pretty decent date), the food wasn't bad - but the service was great.

And hey I'm not complaining...if its good enough for Samuel L. Jackson, its good enough for me.

The waiter told my husband that the Toronto Raptors often hang out there after a game too. Guess where my husband will be vanishing to after a b-ball game ends. sigh.

While we ate, I kept looking at this sign on the bar counter "premium cigarettes for sale". Wtf?! Since when do restaurants in Toronto sell cigarettes, this is unheard of. It's a sign from above.

"Honey, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"  I said (we both quit smoking in '07)

"Yes. Lets do it." *evil grin*

That was that, we were very naughty, and purchased a pack of smokes. It was quite exciting really.... felt like a couple of kids.

But I promise you, we will not bring that pack out unless we are having a drink or something.

So, the next part of our date involved us heading on over to the sex store. Once we walked in and started asking questions - a lot of the staff got interested. Especially when I said I write a blog about South Asian and sometimes Muslim sexuality.

Interestingly enough, the 3-level store is located right next door to an Islamic Centre. (I've posted a pic of this interesting juxtaposition before) Its only in Toronto that you can find such tolerance. On both parts....I'm not sure who came in first. They say they were probably first to arrive, since they've been there around 13 years...

The first sales attendant we spoke to mentioned that her recent ex boyfriend was a Muslim and had serious issues with her working at a sex store. However, thats not so surprising...I can see many muslim guys (as well as non-muslim guys, and women) having issues with their partners working at such a store.

Anyhow. When I started asking about the Islamic centre, and if they've experienced any problems or any intolerance with them located next door - the manager jumped in and said that they've never had any issues at all. He seemed quite pleased with that. And so was I. I was thrilled to hear that they've never even heard any nasty comments hurled at them or anything. And the store staff had nothing but nice things to say about them as well. Tolerance... truly. Why cant our people be this tolerant in their home countries? WHY? Forget sex stores, they pretty much think belonging to a different religion is a sin.

I asked if he had seen any visibly muslim looking people come in to the store (from next door for example) And he mentioned that they definitely do come in from time to time. Women with headscarves, and men with beards...

"fascinating", i thought to myself.

A third sales assistant came up (we were generating quite the interest from the staff) and mentioned that they don't often buy anything, but if they are approached by staff they will happily ask questions about products...

She estimated that around 30% of the stores clientele was of South Asian descent... I don't know how accurate that number is... but its a heart warming thought. Especially knowing that people from the Islamic centre next door are not what people would stereotype as being angry extremists, but rather just like anyone else... they are curious about the products and come in to ask questions.

Then my husband and I delved into some specific products. I asked the sales assistant if there was anything she recommended for someone who's a 'beginner', who hasn't had much experience with sex toys -- who perhaps doesn't have much access to buy these things, like people in Pakistan (yes, yes i hear there are dealers there... but it's all very hush hush and not accessible to most). She recommended this vibrator specifically:

The PicoBong

It has less intense vibrations, its small and not intimidating - doesn't look like a giant plastic veiny cock, and thats a plus in my book. So ladies, or gentlemen.. if you're looking to start - this right here is a great stepping stool into the world of sex toys. You can order from their store online, they ship internationally! (Hopefully Pakistan doesn't intercept such packages) ...

or if u want to be ultra discrete, you could just buy this "massager" that they sell there for some reason lol.

Then she showed us some male-specific sex toys. Dick sleeves... textured ones; bumpy, wavy, with warming and cooling gels.... I am not so familiar with these things... but they seem interesting. My husband just chuckled.... i don't think he found the idea of them too appealing.. he especially laughed at the one that was marketed as a "Home Entertainment System" but i dont think he managed to get a picture of it, since the sales rep was right there. He did however get a pic of the 'flesh light' one of the most popular male sex toys I've heard about...essentially just a tube u stick ur wiener into...

While browsing, I came across a small-ish strap on... marketed 'for him' - That was an odd sight. I was perplexed as to why there needed to be a strap on specifically geared to straight men. I mean, If they wanted to be penetrated, wouldnt they just get a regular strap on? As I soon realised, the answer was no.

The girl explained that this was probably just a marketing ploy to make straight men more comfortable with the idea of anal penetration. If it was marketed to them, it'd make them feel more at ease. Also the smaller size would make it less intimidating, and perhaps the shape of it would be more geared towards hitting the prostate.

Now we're not teenagers anymore so giggling at everything in a sex store is something we're past. But one product on the shelves certainly made us laugh...I had to ask just what the fuck that was. A chin-strap dildo? Wow.

Hahaha apparently its to assist in oral. But you'd have to be a very freakin talented multi-tasker and not afraid of looking silly to pull off a dick on the end of ur face. Also the head-thrusting would just get in the way of cunnilingus, no? Weird.

Then there was this little bell.

Interestingly enough, there wasn't a female counterpart that I saw.... no "ring for cunnilingus" ....

Oh, and I found the perfect little hat in the fetish section. Not ultra-fetishy... but something I've been looking for, for a long time now. Only I would browse 3 floors of sex paraphernalia, and leave the store with a hat.

I did see some rather beautiful bondage cuffs, but they were quite expensive.

Happy Valentine's Day y'all

How to spot a Sexist

So recently, it has come to light just how unaware our population is about sexism - men and women both...The ignorance is alarming...Wake the fuck up people. Especially women, don't let this crap go on right under your noses, speak up against it.

Its important that we learn to recognize the signs of sexism & sexists, because these bastards can be pretty tricky.

So here are some seriously serious tips about how to pick one out of a crowd;

1) Male sexists usually have a slightly forked tongue, so look carefully...often the subtle lisp that comes from having such a tongue is what gives them away... They are usually very comfortable in feudal settings, and other areas where the population is under-educated. Its when people are informed, and empowered that you will find this type slinking into the shadows, hurling insults anonymously. They are usually very cowardly, so do not be afraid... all you have to do is stand up to them, do not be put off by the disgusting forked tongue.

2) Female sexists are usually victims of brainwashing and the internalization of self hatred...This has occurred over centuries...they are unaware of their own sexism, but you can usually pick them out of a crowd because there are bubbles, foam and soap suds emerging from their ears...(as a result of the constant brainwashing) - their hearing is obviously impaired from the process, but please do not be dismayed if u try to tell them things and they are unable to comprehend. It will just take a few weeks of ear drainage, and they should soon be able to hear more clearly.

(click to enlarge)

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Ok for realzies now,  if only there were obvious physical indicators like that....it'd be easy to spot them anywhere...but its not that simple in the real world.... so without the forked tongue and bubbles.... we'll need to look a little closer. It's important they be identified though, because they are detrimental to the progress of any society.

There are a few types;

1) The Obvious hater of Womankind: Usually male, but there are plenty of female ones too. Often the result of a lack of modern education - or being 'set in their ways'. This type of sexist is certainly not shy about their views, in fact they're happy to shout this shit from the rooftops. They are proud to say that a woman's place is in the home/kitchen and anything challenging that, is destroying traditional values. They think women should watch how they dress, or they'll be raped. They also believe a woman's main purpose in life is to bear children, continuously. In their eyes, women should always look a certain way, and behave submissively.
Sexuality is something good, pure women do not express.

Image from: http://www.collapseboard.com

2) The Part-time hater of Womankind: This type of sexist can actually be quite 'educated' but obviously, a lot of it slipped through the cracks. They are all for liberal, empowered women, unless its someone related to them, or someone that is married to them. They can possibly date girls in miniskirts abroad, but they want to come home to a chapati-making virgin that mommy picked out. They think that premarital sex is an option for foreign girls and for men. Local girls are for the purposes of marriage and bearing children. They like an empowered woman in the bedroom, as long as its not their wife (double standards are a running theme with them). A lot of these types of male sexists find that their sexism comes out in spurts, depending on the global region they're in. Female part timers might be all for equality until u hit a particular issue, and then their double standard will kick in. For example, 'Women shouldn't swear' , 'Women shouldn't drink', 'A good wife never refuses her husband in bed' .  Sure, if u hate swearing and drinking, etc all together, that makes sense. But then apply the same restriction both ways please.

Image from: http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/vintage%20sexism

3) The 'Progressive' hater of womankind: This is one of the trickiest kinds of sexist to spot. They camouflage themselves well.  They are seemingly open minded about a lot of issues, willing to talk about sex and sexuality, homosexuality, gender equality. But once in a while they will say something that gives them away. For example 'I don't think that oral sex has to go both ways' 'some men just don't like to do it, and if their woman is fine with that then there's no issue' Umm, yes there is an issue. If you don't want to go down, dont expect to receive that kind of pleasure either. If ur fine with a one-way oral relationship it only gives away your douchey-ness. Not only is it selfish, but its continuing to apply the submissive role to women in the bedroom. She may say she's ok with this arrangement, only because for decades she has been told that women shouldn't seek pleasure in sex. And having u go down on her feels dirty and shameful. You should work on having an equal loving relationship... not be fine with oppressing one party in the bedroom (Of course there are always exceptions, and perhaps she truly feels violated- in any case don't force her... just work on building trust). This type of sexist will also think its ok to make sexist jokes, and laugh at serious issues that women have struggled with for centuries. Do not be fooled by their 'progressive' facade. Its an act, probably to get laid or something. The female counterparts of this kind of sexist often make excuses for  and try to defend such double standards.

4) The Inadvertent Sexist: This type of sexist truly thinks they are against sexism, and all for equality - but then they make sexist jokes, and laugh at sexist things. They make idiotic comments on social media and claim that 'it was only a joke' - so you shouldn't be offended. Both male and female alike. This kind of sexist is just plain ignorant, worthy of pity really, not anger... because they think they have progressed beyond such things... but they just don't have a clue. Sometimes they are young, sometimes just uninformed... in both cases u hope they grow the fuck up. If you defend or make excuses for this kind of sexist, or if you sympathise - you are contributing to setting women back...so the least u can do is call the little shits out for their smartass McSexism.

And for those who are genuinely confused about what offends women...here's a list of some topics you prolly shouldn't delve into, unless you have something intelligent, accurate or inoffensive to say;

-PMS: don't make sweeping statements, jokes or assumptions about women being crazy or irrational during or before their period. Especially when you know nothing about their menstrual schedule. Any woman disagreeing with you or calling you out, is not PMSing - ok? Just grow a pair of balls or ovaries, and learn to take a disagreement without dismissing the persons views entirely. Yes, women can disagree with you without being on their period...end of story. Give them enough respect to accept it for what it is.

Sure you may have a funny tale about your wife, gf or friend getting a little angrier than usual about something.... but the second u apply that to all women, or to random women you know nothing about - you are putting your own idiocy up for display - so don't be surprised if someone has something to say about it.

Image from: http://www.missrepresentation.org/feminism/that-time-of-the-month-an-excuse-for-sexism-all-the-time/

-Gender Roles: If you 'joke' about 'making you a sandwich' you are an asshole. If you joke about women and kitchens, you are an asshole. Don't you have the ability to recognize that such 'jokes' are rooted in centuries of female opression?

If you think women can't drive, or cant watch sports, you are an asshole. If you imply that women talk too much, especially during your sporting events, you're a special kind of scrote. If you think men should be allowed to have more freedom, you're insane. If you think men should earn more - you deserve to never get laid.

Image from: http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/vintage%20sexism

Image from: http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/vintage%20sexism

(click to enlarge)

-Sexual Objectification: Responding to arguments with comments like 'boobs' is not only juvenile, but it shows that you have nothing smart to say, and that you have trouble taking women seriously. Even if you don't have trouble taking them seriously, when you say such things... it makes it seem that you do. Do not infantilize us by calling us 'sweetheart' 'doll' 'babe' - its different when you know someone and care about them and use these as terms of endearment, but when you do it to random women, its offensive. Also do not make jokes about how 'women should please men' - we are not slaves. Sure sexual education is important for everyone, and both genders should be well informed about sexual pleasure. Don't objectify us further by telling us what to do. Pleasing a man is not that complicated, I assure u. Everything is external, fairly simple to figure out how it works. In fact perhaps, men need to learn a thing or two about pleasing women. Oh, and PORN is not where you should learn these things from. Sure I believe (other feminists may disagree) theres not much harm in the occasional wank to mainstream porn - but do not hold that as your standard. Know that its fake and women do not like to have sex like that, most of us don't anyway. Why no, we don't want your cum sprayed all over our faces all the time....and no we don't like it when you grab our hair and thrust your cock in and out like nobodys business... we too have a gag reflex. And also know that real women don't look like pornstars... So, sure wank to it once in a while, but definitely keep these tips in mind.

Image from: http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/vintage%20sexism

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There is a difference between being a sexist at heart and committing the occasional sexist act. Even the very best of us are unable to avoid it always...society is set up to be sexist. Try to be aware of it, and try to do things differently. Thats the only way we'll ever get past it.

And women, for the love of the goddess, please do not make excuses for sexism. It is never ok.

Givin' away some mangos...

Hola !

Its been a while since I gave away some doodles.....so I thought I'd do just that, in time to celebrate hitting 1000 followers on twitter. Yeah yeah, i know its not a huge number compared to some of the blogging superstars... but hey considering how many ppl are angry about me being a woman and talking about sex so openly, I'm surprised we've hit this many zeros.

So I may not be a twitter rock star, but hey, I'll take 1000 ;)

Anyhoo....I'm not going to give artwork away to just anyone, it has to be someone who actually reads my ramblings.... and if you do, you wont find these questions too hard.

-So answer any 5

-and email me the answers nicemangosDOTblogATgmailDOTcom.

The first person to send me an email will get a pretty package in the mail.. containing an original signed, Nice Mangos print.

Oh, and u can pick from these;

1) Where does the Author of this blog live currently (City and Country) ? 

2) What is the name/pseudonym I go by?

3) Who does the artwork on my blog? 

4) I recently drew desi versions of 2 fairytales, what were they? 

5) One of my more recent posts was published by Express Tribune Blogs, what was the post about?

6) I once blogged about a Pakistani celebrity - who was it? 

7) I drew an alphabet series, can you name 3 things from there? 

8) I did a post about Pakistani swingers, true or false?

9) I started a petition about..?

10) Whats my twitter handle? 

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Here's a picture from my last art giveaway. This lucky topless winner is from Dubai.... 

this .. could be you next :) I love sending my art out into the world... so please give it a good home - and the only condition is, is that you're going to have to send me a pic of my art in ur hands when u get it! 

Also, be forewarned, the last giveaway ended within 3.5 minutes so act fast! :) 

UPDATE: contest is now closed, thank you to all who participated! It was over within the first 5 mins... and hey whaddaya know, this time the winner is from Canada .. :D 

There will be other giveaways, so do not despair! 

-E