Brown girls shouldn't have brown Vaginas

So last time I finished up on a positive note, feeling warm and fuzzy about the fact that there are some great, non judgemental Pakistani men out there. Enlightened was even a word I had used. But you know, who am I kidding here…these types are not the norm. Hypocrite, and sexist dbag are words better suited to describe the average (straight) male-supremacist desi dude. The entire society is set up to create them that way, with this sense of entitlement....especially in regards to women. Culture and religion endorse it.

They can be judgemental in ways I hadn’t even fathomed possible. Just the existence of products such as this is testament to that:



What. The. Fuck. No, really... What. The. Actual. Fuck. Why on earth does the already sick desi obsession with being *fair* outdo itself yet again and transcend to a whole other disgusting level? Why? Why do we need to bleach our genitals to satisfy some ridiculous brown male fantasy of wanting a white vagina? That can't be safe.

White porn, is 'the standard' I guess....where a lot of young south Asian men learn about sex, sadly their logic can't extend to understanding that brown women will not look like the white women in porn. And ffs, most women of any race, don't look like women from porn.

Just like penises, vaginas come in all shapes, sizes and colours. If you expect a dark skinned girl to have a pale lady bits...you're out of your mind, just a little bit.

I recently had a discussion with someone who brought up how he had had a conversation about the colour of desi (south Asian) vaginas with other brown guys. He was pretty mortified by what he heard as well. He’s been nice enough to write an account of that evening for this post, pretty shocking to say the least:

A few months ago I was sitting with a bunch of men in a gathering where alcohol was in abundance and conversational restraint in dearth, so the topics naturally revolved around sex, and eventually, what was the best sex they had ever had. Descriptions of ideal sexual partners invariably involved skin tones and complexions and one such description produced a remark that would spark a curious discussion that is to be the basis of this write-up; said a middle-aged man with two wives and a legion of mistresses, ‘no matter how fair skinned a desi woman is, her vagina and nipples are always dark’.

This sweeping statement, which I can tell you from personal experience is factually incorrect, was met unanimously with agreement and approval.

From here on the conversation became exclusively about the colour of female genitalia. Many of the men sitting there were frequent visitors to brothels, and frequent visitors to foreign countries and, predictably, brothels in foreign countries. They also had wives, girlfriends and professed to engage in casual sex without monetary transaction as well.

Turn by turn they related their own stories of the darkest and fairest genitalia they’d come across. As skin colour is also deeply embedded with class and social stature, the most denigrating remarks were for the dark skinned sex workers or servant girls with whom they’d had sexual encounters.

Accusations of lack of cleanliness, hygiene and health were abundant. That they did not like performing oral on somebody with dark vaginas and nipples. The ideal colour was pink; it was repeatedly said that foreign men were ‘lucky’ to have convenient access to it, that the colour somehow made all the difference when it came to oral sex, and that generally their most pleasurable sexual encounters were associated with that colour.

‘The best sex we’ve had’ inevitably involved mentions of the pinkest labia or areolas; they were considered aesthetically more pleasing and therefore more arousing, and arousal played a key part in eventual satisfaction.

Two or three of them deemed that lighter skin around the breast and crotch areas was a sign of sexual health and that they were more suspicious of contracting diseases from darker coloured organs.

(lol if this was true, *all* light-skinned people would be STD free, and that is really really not the case. Idiots.)

One man said that, ‘darker vaginas tend to smell, and taste rotten’. This was a guy who’d never been with a ‘light’ genitalled woman, and was basing this opinion on his experience with pornography; that white men readily seemed to perform oral on fair genitalled women, whereas for him it was an ‘unpleasant’ activity.

(well clearly, you can always tell how a woman’s vagina smells by watching her in a porn video, And you almost never smell anything foul coming from the TV... so you can safely conclude that their vaginas don’t have a smell at all. Can’t argue with such airtight logic. What an intelligent fellow.)

Now I’m going to wager here that performing oral sex, on either gender, by either gender, is not everyone’s cup of tea (sorry if that ruined your evening tea) anyway. Or maybe he just wasn’t doing it right. But it’s curious that instead of exploring his own sexual interests and limitations he would blame, as seems the norm, the woman instead. In this case, the colour and constitution of her genitalia. That had it been more pink his experience would’ve been better somehow.

Another man said that darker vaginas were relatively ‘loose’. Of course the male fascination with vaginal tightness is nothing new, nor even culture specific, and requires an entirely different debate altogether. But this was just another example of attributing a perceived negativity about sexual organs to their colour. ‘Loose’ was his exact phrase, he didn’t even use an Urdu word. He said it quite confidently and when queried by me he could not qualify his statement, beyond saying that ‘they are’ and ‘ask anyone who’s been inside a fairer one’.


(by now, the level of stupidity has crossed every limit that my mind could’ve possibly imagined - However the upcoming sentence sums it up best)

At this point I considered it a small wonder that dark skinned vaginas weren’t held responsible for the rise in oil prices and power outages.

Of course, these highly sexually active men were also going around making snap judgments and generalizations partly out of necessity of habit; given their promiscuity and that they view sex as gratification only, not performance; they don’t have ‘partners’, they have outlets or victims or means to phallic relief.

(And sadly, the writer of this piece has captured the very essence of how too many desi men view sex...it’s a heartbreaking reality. Our cultures don't even recognize that marital rape is a thing, consent is not a concept stressed upon. Women suffer the most of course, but I imagine that something is taken away from the quality of such men’s lives as well. They will never truly know the joy of making love to a partner and not an object of sexual gratification. It must get lonely. But even sadder is the fact that they might be too stupid to realize it.)

So the sexual experience of the woman does not matter, and where one would rationally think that inexperience would actually lead to less pleasurable intercourse, they are firm in their belief that inexperience means tighter vaginal muscles and exponentially more pleasure.

Hence they say things like ‘a thin back means she’ll be tighter down there’. Or ‘thick arms and hands imply wider, unpleasurable vaginas’.


* * *

Well. That was fascinating, disgusting and sad, all at the same time. A rare glimpse for us into the types of conversation that (brown) guys can have when no women are around. Thank you for that.

This conversation definitely sparked a lot of interest on twitter too, here are some interesting things people had to say;

Omair Zeeshan: illogical though. Darker skin has more evolutionary benefits. Should be hardwired to prefer

sharabi kababi‏: Let's face it (heh!!), no one's really examining vags, most of us are just happy to get it in :)

pathipen: Maybe I "knew" men who were more open minded.

Smacula: I think we are all to blame. Porn sets up unreal standards. We like unreal standards. We see real and scorn>>

Smacula: << in that way, porn is much like aunties. Who show off their unreal kids, and set unreal standards. #sorryButHadTo

* * *

I will stress again, that our country is in desperate need of sex ed. We’ve seen what can happen when pornography is a person’s only source of ‘sexual education’ … it makes me sick to my core.

It's time to make sure we raise our sons to be decent men.

If the kinds of thoughts we’ve been discussing in this post seem at all familiar to you, or you see nothing wrong with them, you’re obviously an ignorant asshole. But I suppose it's a start you're here, reading this.

If after reading this you still think having such thoughts are ok, go lock yourself in your room...and don’t come out till you can shine your brown dick to gleaming white or a rosy pink. Just sayin’ ;)