Sunday, January 4, 2015

A letter for Leelah Alcorn from a Pakistani Mother

On December 28th of last year we lost yet another innocent life because people imposed their beliefs on someone else.

Photo from Wikipedia

Leelah Alcorn took her life, by walking into a truck. And left behind a devastating suicide note on her Tumblr, which has now been deleted.

Leelah Alcorn was pressurized, isolated, drugged on anti-depressants (far above the recommended dosage), and treated poorly by her own parents. Their Christian beliefs are cited as the only reason for this treatment, and this 'conditional' love. They apparently sent her to see only 'Christian therapists' - who unhelpfully told her to look to 'god' for help... who told her she needed to be fixed.  :(

For physical health, for mental health....for anything medical... I ask that you always look to science.

We see it over and over again, parents unable to accept children for who they are and what they believe, in this case she was a transgender girl, born Josh Alcorn. She ended her life, because she wasn't allowed the basic freedom of being who she was, of being loved for who she was. Even after her death and after reading her painful suicide note, her mother refused to refer to her in the media by the name she chose for herself. And coldly stood her ground, reinforcing her utter disrespect for her beautiful transgender child....her mother spoke to the media referring to her as 'Josh'. This was the name Leelah crossed out in her suicide note, she made it a point to emphasize the name she wanted to be known by. Her mom could not honour such a request, not even in memory of her child.

With the facts that are coming to light about her mistreatment at home, I feel the authorities should look into this. But I don't think that harassing her parents online is helpful at all. So please, please refrain from contacting them, sending them hateful messages/emails. I hope the appropriate people will do their job and ask them the right questions. Instead lets channel our energy into supporting her, the cause - and getting rid of what is as horrific and unnatural as it sounds 'conversion therapy'.

Join the facebook page here

Whether you are not accepted at home for the way you look, who you love, who you are, what you believe- please know there are people you can talk to. Here is a link to Trans Lifeline 's page. If you are in North America and need to speak to someone, you can call the numbers provided there. There are also many international suicide lines, via chat or phone. If you are feeling alone, please, please speak to someone. You are not alone.

I received a grief-stricken letter for Leelah, from a Pakistani mother. We don't know how many lives are made miserable because of a lack of acceptance in our country, because frankly not enough people care about humanity. People are not accepted for a large variety of reasons, and sometimes even killed for being different. But there are a few people who keep my hopes up for my birth country. And such mothers are amongst those people:

Dear Leelah,

I read about your painful journey. Sweety, As a mother of a gay son, I felt helpless, your silenced cries hit me hard.
I accepted my son being different and an atheist a long time back. He too suffered in many ways but when he told me... I cried. Not because he wasn't straight but for the suffering he endured alone. For days I cried and got angry at him for not telling me earlier. He was scared of what my reaction would be, you must've felt that fear too. My reaction was positive as a mother because I love him unconditionally. I just wish you were my daughter. All you wanted was acceptance and respect... That, everyone deserves.

You deserved so much love and support, baby, that I can't tell you. The depressive state that made you take this decision was tough one and I feel you.

Have been thinking... Did you smile as you were going to be finally free from this barbaric and Inhumane world, from it's people.. For whom the hell is here and so is the fire? Were your eyes closed? Did fear grip you? Did you have flashbacks of your misery that weren't noticed? Tears flowed down your cheeks, thinking about your loved ones? Were you breathing with your heart pounding or did numbness took over? These questions Mothers like me cry and ask. I'm sitting right now in a food court but yet I am imagining you in my mind... Your face clearly apparent and beautiful.
My heart is bleeding for you as a mother. Darling, all these questions I'm asking will remain unanswered.

My angel... These are my sentiments... As tear drops down while my heart aches of losing you.

I don't want to lose others... Who aren't accepted by the one who keeps them in her womb and nurtures.. and just one day... She has to choose between ' Her God, her child, facing people, sins and bloody hell fire'
As a mother of my beloved son and all the LGBT plus. I hope they don't ever feel they have to take this path. I want to tell them, not to let go... . Your letter that you wrote will hopefully not go in vain. But I wonder, will it be remembered for a week, month or a year? I hope we all make your wish come true and fight for it. Fight for a better, more accepting society

Leelah, be proud of who you are and you broke the silence with that letter.
I will miss you and accept you my darling and will remember you for as long as I live.

-Tears from a mother in Pakistan

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