tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2731703290032072857.post5949647753692860475..comments2023-11-10T23:22:58.216-08:00Comments on Nice Mangos: "He tried to perform oral sex on me and told me he thought it was gross"Eiynahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12347528710695523104noreply@blogger.comBlogger34125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2731703290032072857.post-57321014283859200652018-09-07T21:45:04.108-07:002018-09-07T21:45:04.108-07:00Talking about oral sex, I agree with what you ment...Talking about oral sex, I agree with what you mentioned: a patriarchal society where just men can have pleasure because the religion allows, but never the women, or until she wants something different than just penetration. This Pakistani man who supposedly have an open mind for many things says he will never do oral sex to his partner because whatever comes out of either penis or vagina is impure. I asked him if a baby would be. Mentioning all the time about Europeans atheists and perverts who commit incest or not. He wouldn´t listen to me. It was so annoying seeing what religion can do to people regarding a natural thing as sex, meaning from human nature, and not having sex with everybody. Spirituality comes from God, religion is a man thing to control others, any. Funny thing is that he´s always talking bad about people from north. Judging others is much easier than looking at your own behavior. According to him I shouldn´t like or supress my desire for oral sex, just because he hates it without never ever tried, but watched from a porn movie. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2731703290032072857.post-27419240551180240022015-06-09T10:37:29.987-07:002015-06-09T10:37:29.987-07:00open relationship or get rid of the guy .. but *on...open relationship or get rid of the guy .. but *only* after a lot of focused communicationgregoryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14408369948377761936noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2731703290032072857.post-53004370075071599532015-06-08T18:58:20.014-07:002015-06-08T18:58:20.014-07:00Edited that to 98, in hopes of making my point re:...Edited that to 98, in hopes of making my point re: old fashioned values around sexuality, betterEiynahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12347528710695523104noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2731703290032072857.post-7852790818598868442013-09-11T11:28:14.458-07:002013-09-11T11:28:14.458-07:00Thanks for sharing your story.... Its sad that you...Thanks for sharing your story.... Its sad that you and your partnr don't seem to find a 'connection' perhaps this has something to do with it being an arranged marriage, though I have seen arranged marriages turn into 'love' as well. I don't think accepting it as a part of married life is a healthy way to look at it... you will fel helpless and defeated and perhaps resentful which will compound the lack of connectivity u mentioned above.... perhaps you can start off by just trying to talk it out... it seems your wife isn't exposed to alternate versons of female sexuality.... only the version where she must be pure and chaste... and barely sexual. So maybe you can take baby steps in exposing her to this side. Reassure her that having desires is perfectly natural for anyone and everyone. And if she feels otherwise it is a result of socialization and cultural expectations. Baby steps so as not to overwhelm her with information.... maybe you can show her some informative websites... maybe you can read stories... maybe you can even show her stories from her own culture... dont mean to self-promote, but find something that she might relate to on this blog and share it with her... being from Pakistan she might relate better. Good luck... its not going to be easy, but i think communication is key.... never give up on communication. Eiynahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12347528710695523104noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2731703290032072857.post-2795216206990447132013-09-10T22:26:49.399-07:002013-09-10T22:26:49.399-07:00@Fehmida
I am a Pakistani male 35
I have offered m...@Fehmida<br />I am a Pakistani male 35<br />I have offered my comments on Pakistani and Cunnulingus story.<br />Let me share a few realities if it comforts you<br />You are an amazing women raising a family and its seems having a complete "package"<br />Best of all have feelings of true love for your seemingly selfish/too busy to care, husband and best part is you dont intend betraying him as an option.<br />Being married is a bundle of compromises and let me share a few i did,<br />Being a Leo and some what egoistic it was my obsession to Please a women and feel good about it. it had more to do with my mental satisfaction than physical needs (as you know better we men need a minute to shred our loads and go to sleep..)<br />Seven years ago i started my arranged married life with what you explained, short foreplays and 30 second actions.<br />i never received a complaint although i cud sense that i was giving NOT orgasms (or any type of satisfaction to my woman she never knew what those were)... <br />After our first child i decided to change..<br />Browsed the internet to increase my stamina and time,<br />and i learned a few tricks (PC muscle and butt squeeszing ex) that cud make me last longer i.e half and hr or more (YES! MY MALE FRIENDS IT CAN BE DONE) with penetration but less pounding ( i hope you under stand what i mean)<br />As i result i gave orgasms at times 3 or 4 in one session...<br />BUT HERE IS THE REAL DEAL<br />Those orgasms remained thankless...<br />My use of tongue/saliva during kisses was labeled as gross ( it may have some thing to do with lack of true Love)<br />My offer to go down on her was rejected as Un hygenic and sick, going down on me was labled pshyco and out of question( My offer for cunnulings was unconditional)<br />orgasms i gave her were not admitted although i cud feel them..<br />seeing porn is labelled as cheating...and shameful<br />we start with missionary dont loose connection convert to side then queen and end at missionary but ONLY WHEN she is not in a hurry to get it over with...<br />Sounds Pathetic!!!<br />But this is how it is....<br />I shared this all as i want you to realize that compatibility issues are part of marriage deals specialy in arranged marriage, where you cannot differenciate between need for companionship or existance of true love...<br />Although it wont comfort you, as your story just made me see the other side of pic.<br />But if you realize the other side may be it is good for youOneVerdictnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2731703290032072857.post-87211705412387731272013-07-01T03:41:42.962-07:002013-07-01T03:41:42.962-07:00An interesting blog, and an interesting subject. P...An interesting blog, and an interesting subject. Personally, I like to please my woman and her pleasure enhances mine. If she likes getting licked, I would be perfectly happy to do it.<br /><br />But the issue of oral sex is not limited to men alone. I know a woman who likes receiving it a lot but refuses to give it. I guess there are hangups about sex among many in the subcontinent (I'm an Indian), and also some selfishness.<br /><br />Fahmida's husband is lucky and does not know it. If I were him, I'd pin her to the wall everyday, with my mouth between her thighs.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2731703290032072857.post-4821127862447693892013-03-25T09:05:05.004-07:002013-03-25T09:05:05.004-07:00same me man give oral receives nadasame me man give oral receives nadaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2731703290032072857.post-57604680188882977112012-11-23T01:44:43.899-08:002012-11-23T01:44:43.899-08:00While Fahmida deserves sympathy, there are equal n...While Fahmida deserves sympathy, there are equal number of cases where opposite happens... female partners who like oral but don't give it in return.. are reluctant to try new things, etc.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2731703290032072857.post-36906234609087152792012-09-17T21:38:15.148-07:002012-09-17T21:38:15.148-07:00I have just started reading the blog that I came a...I have just started reading the blog that I came accross accidently and I am not much of Blogger but I would like to add a bit to it...<br />Being married is a mutual agreement by two partners and its the desire of both to be satisfied properly. Many things written here do trigger lot many questions and F. and Mackers have said enough and really to the point of actually understanding the problem. My opinion is that if you both are facing problem te best idea would be to sit down and talk as it will surely resolve many problems and second thing is that if e is facing problem try cut the count down to twice a week.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2731703290032072857.post-51325995812750416462012-09-12T12:51:01.479-07:002012-09-12T12:51:01.479-07:00Oh no! Im sorry to hear you're in a similar si...Oh no! Im sorry to hear you're in a similar situation... but all I can say is please communicate with your partner..do it gently, playfully, kindly... but the longer you let this go on... the more you'll resent them later. Don't be in that position. All the best!Eiynahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12347528710695523104noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2731703290032072857.post-63806328356434722362012-09-12T01:33:22.827-07:002012-09-12T01:33:22.827-07:00Story of my life... makes me wonder what I can do ...Story of my life... makes me wonder what I can do though without offending them... because they become completely deaf to anything but the bruises to their ego.Munchyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12234827153109191605noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2731703290032072857.post-90307966714801567822012-09-09T04:09:05.586-07:002012-09-09T04:09:05.586-07:00Reminds me of HER words... Men Choosa nahi lagati ...Reminds me of HER words... Men Choosa nahi lagati woh kam kion keron jo Kutta bhi Kutti ke sath nahi kerta !Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2731703290032072857.post-51447431646880557832012-09-08T04:55:25.918-07:002012-09-08T04:55:25.918-07:00Oh Enemies of yourselves. Be mindful of Allah and...Oh Enemies of yourselves. Be mindful of Allah and be mindful of the day you have to stand before Allah and recount the time you've wasted, for it is time you will not get back.<br /><br />This is "Fahmida's" husband. Your comments are sad reflection of privileged first world problems, as is her one-sided and highly inaccurate account. "Selective Memory" is a terrible problem, but in no matter do I care for a rebuttal.<br /><br />What I do care for is to remind myself first and then you that these are matters to be decided upon. <br /><br />Decide if you want to bear with patience and work through, or decide for divorce, which "Fahmida" knows full well she's been offered many times.<br /><br />But decide, then move on. You have been given permission by your Lord to decide and move on.<br /><br />You have not been given permission to indulge and write, and gossip and plot and plan and complain publicly.<br /><br />Learn about your Deen. And learn one of the biggest responsibilities of our time here on earth is to spread the message of Islam and help those who TRULY are in need.<br /><br />Not to endulge online in first world problems. Yes, many Muslim Women are sexually unsatisfied. Guess what, many Men are too. Fantastic. Now decide what you want to do and MOVE ON.<br /><br />Take advantage of whatever you can of this temporary existence so you can actually get somewhere great (Jannah).<br /><br />But if you can't move on from these online drugs (blogs, twitter, facebook, porn sites). Then at least do yourself a favour and spend time on-line finding out what the Prophet (pbuh) and his beloved Companions (ra) did in regards to sex, relationships, etc.<br /><br />At least that way you may be able to say you "spent" your time wisely. For they were the ones we know for sure to have been successful.<br /><br />We can't say the same for those around us. It may be that Fahmida is a woman of Paradise married to a man of Hell. Why does she want sexual satisfaction from a man of Hell?<br /><br />What does any of this article matter then?<br /><br />Or vice versa.<br /><br />Don't be enemies of yourself. You have an ETERNITY to worry about. Move on, and worry about it, rather then the temporary goods of your time here.<br /><br />I pray to Allah for Guidance and Forgiveness for us all.<br /><br />Assalamu alaikum, Anon.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2731703290032072857.post-57319779155693013582012-09-04T19:43:29.688-07:002012-09-04T19:43:29.688-07:00I think the term for female blue balls is 'blu...I think the term for female blue balls is 'blue clit' - it's just not as commonly used and doesn't have the same ring to it (bartholins isn't exactly the right part of the vagina unfortunately). Some of the advice given here is great and although there are many men, from both western and eastern cultures, who act this way and don't deserve to be so spoilt, it seems like this problem will never end unless some miracle gives these amazing women's voices some power and their partners the ability to listen.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2731703290032072857.post-46160536170737079752012-08-28T03:42:42.871-07:002012-08-28T03:42:42.871-07:00It is instructional. 37.2% of all I know about sex...It is instructional. 37.2% of all I know about sexuality is from this video. Mackersnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2731703290032072857.post-47931362460349592282012-08-27T12:17:44.241-07:002012-08-27T12:17:44.241-07:00hahah and here i was expecting some instructional ...hahah and here i was expecting some instructional video :PEiynahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12347528710695523104noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2731703290032072857.post-11738005229682865372012-08-27T09:55:07.363-07:002012-08-27T09:55:07.363-07:00As I wrote above, I completely agree that if it is...As I wrote above, I completely agree that if it is for lack of effort then strike all the way. If he does, however, have a genuine psychological problem with being able to do that, then forcing the situation will create other unwanted issues. I don’t imagine women enjoying a sour-faced man going down on them. Fahmida will have to judge which one it is. <br /><br />I am also very suspicious of the BJ at the hospital and would be very surprised if it was voluntarily offered. You should never have to do that, and if the partner is not understanding of that then that’s not a person you want to be with. If it was a mere request and she felt comfortable obliging, then that is between them.<br /><br />I would think selfishness in the bedroom translates to other aspects as well. But, there are hints that this situation is more complicated; the fact that he was supportive and comforting when she was postpartum, and was thoughtful enough to spoon as a way of making love shows a less insensitive side of him. If a person who showed signs of abuse, someone who didn’t recognize his/her own natural rights came up to me and told me that the partner was a wonderful person, I would of course take that with many grains of salt. Here, Fahmida not only comes across as intelligent, but also very clued up on her needs and rights. Then, the fact that she is unhappy in the sexual relationship with her partner but indicates that she is happy with him and her marriage, in other respects, leads me to believe that he just might have redeeming qualities. Especially if you consider some of the nicer things that have been mentioned about him. But, as I have written above, for a husband to see his wife unhappy, trying very hard to resolve things, and not do something about it, requires a little bit of callousness. <br /><br />There are things that puzzle me about his sexual proclivities. You’re right, it’s easier to maintain an erection if you’re not thrusting, and therefore, the woman being on top should be a position where you last longer. It could be the case that the position is new, novel and exciting and is making you reach climax faster than normal. But that should wear out after the first couple of times, and you should not be climaxing any faster than other positions (unless you’re still the one doing the thrusting). Basically, one would normally do well in going by the advice so cogently articulated by the lady here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5z5Mvyp1QHw<br />Mackersnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2731703290032072857.post-31227163088912999072012-08-27T07:46:16.237-07:002012-08-27T07:46:16.237-07:00I think...I must come from a very horny clan then....I think...I must come from a very horny clan then.<br />Explains so much. :PF.https://www.blogger.com/profile/14826394685969425790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2731703290032072857.post-89639341550913090362012-08-26T12:26:45.572-07:002012-08-26T12:26:45.572-07:00agreed :)agreed :)Eiynahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12347528710695523104noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2731703290032072857.post-26293847517595995332012-08-26T12:26:29.923-07:002012-08-26T12:26:29.923-07:00You're completely right there Mackers, it is o...You're completely right there Mackers, it is only one perspective, but there are little indicators throughout this story that point in a certain direction. Sure an Oral strike/hartal may not be constructive... but I don't think she should do it for someone who isnt willing to put in any effort for her. Simply because its unjust that one person keeps trying to please the other and the recipient just sits back and enjoys the show. Its time to stop because he's often hurtful to her and he just doesnt deserve that kind of one sided good treatment all the time. But of course, this is just an opinion... I am no expert in the matter. So its obviously up to her to decide what to do. The fact that he was given a BJ at the hopspital kind of disturbs me, because I don't know if she was pushed to do it or if it was her idea. Honestly, I can't see how any woman would do that on her own, in the described circumstances. <br /><br />he 'could' be a totally awesome person... but I personally doubt it. Selfishness in the bedroom is most likely translated into other aspects of life. Of course as you and F. both say, he could totally be reacting because of his own physical issues...but again, this is no way to treat your wife who tries so hard. Physical issue or not. Anyhoo, you've given them some great practical advice... i have no idea how well it works since I'm not a guy... :P But you were pretty spot on about the female position too. And generally I thought that guys last longer when women are on top, since they arent in control of the thrusting... but i guess not always. Thanks for your comment.Eiynahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12347528710695523104noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2731703290032072857.post-56456277509104370632012-08-26T12:18:01.577-07:002012-08-26T12:18:01.577-07:00I hope the same :)I hope the same :)Eiynahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12347528710695523104noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2731703290032072857.post-53604800223495316572012-08-26T12:17:38.579-07:002012-08-26T12:17:38.579-07:00Sure send me the scans. Id be interested in readin...Sure send me the scans. Id be interested in reading em. You're obviously a person that knows not to jump to conclusions in these situations. And that is very wise, globally speaking, what you're saying is definitely applicable. I agree. <br /><br />But in terms of the specific geographic location we're speaking about I'd beg to differ.I have actually had older ppl speak to me about their sex lives, (of course there are always exceptions) none of which are comfortable making an appearance on the blog. But lets just say I have heard enough from several Pakistani women over 50 (definitely not enough to call it an academic study by any means, but i say this time and time again - I never intend for this blog to be that)...and they all say the same thing, their male partners are ashamed to talk about sex with them. They are scandalized when the woman expresses desire, and they are most certainly not open to things like dirty talk etc, unless the man himself initiates it and the woman acts all shy about it. They are not cool with it being the other way around...The general mentality I come across is that that kind of open display of sexuality doesn't come from a 'good woman'...only whores want sex that bad. The younger generations of men I speak to however, do not hold this view as often. Thats where my comment was coming from. Surely this isn't the first time you've heard this? <br /><br />Like I said earlier, of course there are exceptions, of course there are desi grandparents out there that love to get it on in all types of kinky ways (kinky is obv subjective too...)but that is not the norm, that much I'm sure of. One should never judge a book by its cover, I completely agree with you there.... but when you've heard it time and time again... its hard not to make the assumption that certain things are common behaviour. Its as Mackers says, "...but it might be a product of the engrained gender roles that we learn growing up in Pakistan." And the further back we go in time, the stronger those gender roles are. <br /><br />It might be wishful thinking to say that there are just as many 68 yr olds doing somthing kinky as there are 20 yr olds. And its not necessarily their age. Its the time they are coming from. There was less exposure outside their cocoon of traditional values. You miss my point here,<br /><br />"How many sexually active people our age do you know who say they will put aside their favorite kinks once they cross 60?"<br /><br />Because people my age are exposed to a hell of a lot more of the world than someone who is 68 currently. <br /><br />Anyhow, I do appreciate you very relevant and well thought out comments. I do wish that someone over 50 would agree to do the interview, because that would definitely give a lot of people insight. <br />Eiynahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12347528710695523104noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2731703290032072857.post-56091391250836568992012-08-26T08:35:42.221-07:002012-08-26T08:35:42.221-07:00Also, yes, I realize I may be a bit more sympathet...Also, yes, I realize I may be a bit more sympathetic towards him than most people. And I assure you, I'm no saint--my first response to his obstinacy wasn't sympathy. But people don't always respond 'ideally' to stress and I've been through a lot of psychological turmoil myself--I can spot the signs of when it begins to wear on person, making them behave in increasingly unpleasant ways esp <i>that they didn't to before</i>. In my experience, the best way to deal with an internally troubled person is empathy. I would personally not say anyone is owed anything (even if they are) least of all when the other person is in such a condition. Anyway, it's a sensitive matter among two life partners. I hope Fahmida and her husband are able to deal with it successfully, together.F.http://andtwice.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2731703290032072857.post-38954643093052785522012-08-26T05:59:25.154-07:002012-08-26T05:59:25.154-07:00Eiynah, we aren't exactly working with hard nu...Eiynah, we aren't exactly working with hard numbers here, no pun intended this time. There have been no surveys into the sex lives of Pakistanis over 50 (or 68, as you specifically said) and no objective studies. Given the attitude of our societies in general, I also doubt that any of us has ever had a mixed-gender and/or multi-age group sit-down and talked about sex. <br /><br />So let's face it, we're going by looks. The older generations present a veiled face to us, bound by the secrecy of age and family hierarchy. We don't question it. We read about elderly men marrying young women, we read about aging Afghan warlords trading trading military intelligence for Viagra, we know historically men have been encouraged to enjoy sex regardless of age (just as women have been taught to abhor it, regardless of age), that 'The Kama Sutra' and 'The Perfumed Garden' have been around for centuries, but we still assume our grandparents aren't up to anything. Why?<br /><br />You write a blog about the sex lives of Pakistanis. You know better than most people that looks can be deceiving, that conservative (people, cultures) can also reveal some very interesting sexual experiences, and that Pakistanis certainly didn't discover sex in the last decade (or even the last five, for that matter). How many sexually active people our age do you know who say they will put aside their favorite kinks once they cross 60? <br /> <br />As I see it, the only way to put this to rest is if we can find an elderly person willing to give an interview to Nice Mangos. But till then, I'd rather believe age is no barrier to sexual tastes. I know plenty of vanilla-lovin' twenty-year olds, and I'm willing to bet there are just as many sixty-eight year olds who love doing something as 'kinky' as...dry humping. (Which is the context you made this comment in.)<br /><br />P.S. Btw, there ARE some kind of case studies about the sex lives of people in the subcontinent/India and Pakistan. The ones I've read have all been part of a textbook of Community Medicine, and I don't know how reliable they may be, but the chapter itself makes for an interesting read. I could send you scans. F.https://www.blogger.com/profile/14826394685969425790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2731703290032072857.post-58754164445844627732012-08-25T17:35:23.302-07:002012-08-25T17:35:23.302-07:00Beautifully articulated by Fehmida. (Exceptionally...Beautifully articulated by Fehmida. (Exceptionally). Zeeehttp://www.twitter.com/makaiwalinoreply@blogger.com