Happy Independence Day..... I have to say, that my strongest desire for the next year of Pakistan's existence is to make a difference with awareness regarding Child Sex Abuse. You can help. Sign the petition and like the Facebook page .... spread the word... lets try to be a more sexually educated & aware nation in the coming years.
Continuing in the spirit of Independence Day, here is the rest of Aleena's interview. I thought it'd be a good day to profile your average (not) Pakistani ;)
(Those of you who don't know who Aleena is...I suggest you read the last post, because well... she's quite an interesting person.)
The point to take home here is that despite the fact that she enjoys group sex, or enjoys swapping partners... has had incestuous thoughts about her mother... :O ...... The rest of her experiences/thoughts/opinions seem a lot like everyone else.
Aleena, 20, Female
At what age (approximately) and how did you come to know about sexual intercourse?
I was in 7th grade along with my sister and we were really intrigued about the whole how babies came thing, so we bugged our mom and she ended up giving the exact 'angel dropped you off' reply, we weren’t convinced so I asked my elder cousin who lived with us, he didn’t give an actual reply but gave me his O Levels biology book and we read it, and even that didn’t have an actual passage on what actually created kids.
Being girls we were allowed horrible dialup Internet under supervision only, so that was ruled out. Wasn’t till a year till some girls in school discovered about sex and told us two. Even when we had our first periods we weren’t told whats going on, we were just given pads and told to stuff them.
(Ummm wow.... the fact that you weren't told about what happens when you get your period ever.... and rather just told to deal with it yourself... is pretty awful... I remember when it happened to me... -and I had had Sex Ed. class, learned about it in detail- I was still shocked/mortified/embarassed beyond belief, the first time is just so alien. I can't imagine how you would've processed that on your own :( -- Future & present Pakistani mothers, if you're reading this...please do not leave your child to deal with this life changing experience on her own.)
My initial reaction was of surprise, why weren’t we told of this? why was this hushed? Do people actually do this? My sister found the whole sex ordeal pretty disgusting and refused to believe it.
Is Pakistan sexually repressed as a nation?
Pakistan being sexually repressed is an understatement, repressed doesn’t even come close to defining what we are in terms of sex. I switched over to O Levels after 8th grade so I was taught about sex etc, with special emphasis on bringing a female teacher to teach us that one particular chapter, our regular male teacher taught the boys, but my cousins who didn’t switch over weren’t even taught about it. Teachers outright refused, that’s how big of an issue it is. I don’t know if it’s in all schools or just the one my cousin studied in. I recall there was this school that wanted to bring sex ed in curriculum and it brewed such a big shitstorm that the school was forced to close down. Wtf honestly. When kids aren’t taught about these things in school, they experiment on their own and then it results in other things and the mullas start whining about modesty.
Have you ever had/Do you enjoy having sex?
I do have sex on a regular basis, and yes I enjoy it.
On premarital sex:
Premarital sex is fine as long as its consensual. I have engaged in it and have no regrets or guilt related to it. Sex is beautiful and everyone that wants to should engage in it, married or no
Have you had more than one sexual partner in life?
Yes, and I don’t regret it one bit, I’m allowed to choose what’s best for me.
On Arranged Marriage:
I’m not married and I don’t intend to be arranged married. Arrange marriages would be outlawed if I had power, every girl should be allowed to decide who she wants to marry, its her spending the rest of her life not her parents, why should they have a say about her choice in men? A couple of old school friends were married this year some of them to guys TWICE their age.
Arranged Marriages do result in understandings of partner’s sexual needs/criteria but it takes a lot of time and most of the time its because they have no other choice, i.e they [women] are not allowed to have sex with anyone else and usually are stuck with the guy her parents picked, who cares if their daughter is gonna be satisfied by a guy that’s old enough to be her father, right?
On Sex & Equality:
I’ve read your blog a bit and most people said that the male honestly doesn’t care about the female’s pleasure. Well, sex like a relationship is about communication and if you don’t convey that you’re not satisfied, the male won’t find out since males are careless like that (hehe sorry) I wasn’t satisfied when I started out at first, it kinda felt incomplete, I’d still feel horny while my boyfriend would be exhausted. I was scared of telling him at first but then I finally did it and we came(pun intended) to an understanding, he started holding back till I actually reached orgasm and we tried to elongate our sexual encounters.
Like I said you must tell him till he find out, my boyfriend didn’t... maybe other women’s don’t either, female orgasm is a complex thing and males most of the time don’t understand them/mistake them for something else. I suppose with the conservative population of ours that’s not entirely the case but then again I doubt that our conservatives actually have sex for pleasure rather just baby-making.
(You're right, communication is essential for a healthy sex life. I wish more Pakistani women wouldn't be afraid to voice their needs, desires, etc. But how could they when they'd be viewed as perverts, sluts, whores for even having a sex drive? )
What do you think nature and the physical differences between men and women have to do with gender roles in society?
Well I’m gonna answer according to what I understood of this.
Our society holds the feminine gender as the natural housekeeper, not allowed to pursue jobs/dreams etc, I know most people don’t agree but look around, ever seen a male 'maasi' (maid)? I certainly didn’t. Our society has relegated women to inferiority, Many of my friends wanted to go to Med School etc, realize their dreams, none of them except me made it. Why is that? Was a guy ever stopped from going to Engineering School or whatnot? I know I’m generalizing and there will be exceptions but they are fewww. Way too less.
I agree that men and women are physically different but our differences should be judged just physically. Men are not smarter or superior just because of what they have in their pants.
Have you ever experienced a multiple orgasm?
Just once. When I came before my partner and he ended up continuing so I kinda had two orgasms, one after another.
Have you ever found or had your g-spot found?
I actually think its a myth. There is no g-spot, I’m sure other women could clarify whether it exists or no, but I’ve never found mine.
Do you know anyone who has sex but has not yet experienced an orgasm? What are your thoughts on that?
Most conservative housewives would be like that, and I doubt that they’d want to open up about it.
Do you think about sex every day?
Haha, yeah I probably do. I’d say 3-4 times in a day but that depends on my mood and the time of the month :(
Do you think sex plays a major role in your life?
It certainly does, sex is a very relieving act for me . Helps relieve me of the usual normal stress fatigue.
For me masturbation is something I do when I have had a busy week and could haven’t sex and I’m pretty stressed, its a good way of relieving yourself, nothing compared to the real thing
Would you morally, ethically or in any way, have a problem with marrying someone who had had sex with someone before you?
Thing is, If I’m gonna marry someone I’ll know him inside out first. If I’m marrying him then I’m darn sure that the guy has a personality to die for and I won’t care about minor inconveniences such as his cherry :p
Porn is awesome :D Its unfortunately the only media in our country that lets us explore sex, that too was blocked recently. PTA pfft. I watch porn and so does my partner and other people I know. It should be free and available.
To what extent, in comparison with the rest of the world, do you think people practice bestiality (sex with animals) in this country?
I suppose it happens more in rural areas where women aren’t so open about sex to men so they go do a donkey or something. Personally I find it disgusting. No offense to anyone who commits in it.
(Aleena; I think its fine if u offend these sickos who take advantage of innocent animals.)
What are your thoughts on homosexuality?
Some people are homosexual, I don’t mind it. Not a big deal, I’m pretty tolerant. I’ve had feelings about other women too so its not a big deal.
Do you think education is important, when it comes to something like sexuality?
Like I have said earlier if you want to move into the new century as a country and not be plagued with the rural areas ending up in amazingly high poverty because of 8+ kids of one woman, you NEED to go and educate people about sex. Mother’s need to educate girls about it, if they don’t want their daughters to go out and ‘explore’ and get knocked up at 18.
What kind of role do you think sex plays in religion?
The role that makes you feel guilty and/or regretful after doing it. I personally don’t like to associate the two.
Do you think we have a problem in this country with sexual predators and Paedophiles, and to what extent, in comparison with the rest of the world?
Basically, Houston we have a problem. Ever since we were kids and we would go markets etc there would be that one shopkeeper who would be like, "beta idher aao yeh wala *insert random good here* dekho" and he would touch her and stuff, I still see that to this day in open markets and it makes me rage. How can parents be this dumb to not realize that the motherfucker is fondling your kid?
* * *