In case you hadn't picked up on it by now, I am a big supporter of all kinds of consensual sex. I think 2 adults should have the right to choose how, where, by who and with what apparatus they'd like to get fucked.
As long as they aren't preaching to me, I'm cool. However, lumping consenting-adult-sex with pedophiles and zoophiles is something that *always* gets me worked up... like, why do I even have to explain why that's a fucked up thing to do?
|That is some serious rainbow swag.|
Anyhow so during my discussion with a gay-supremacist radical-feminist, I heard this [paraphrased]:
"I don't like Pride, because its not *just* about being gay, its more of a queer/LGBT thing. It's perverted, commercialized and is accepting of things like 'Kink' (ie. violent and perverted sexual behaviour)."
"Not all diversity is good, because if we want to be completely diverse then we'd be including pedophiles and people who have sex with animals too..."
Now I could write pages and pages just based on those two comments, but I'll just paste the comment I posted there:
I thought the point of Pride was diversity and acceptance. Of course everyone's entitled to an opinion, but to say that u dont understand the point of it at all.., since pride is more of a queer/LGBT thing and not 'just' a gay thing - thats a little bigoted, narrowminded and exclusive. Just a tad.
I can completely understand disliking the commercial aspect, because really - large corporations always want a piece of everything.
But to call it perverted? and to deem 'kink' violent perverted sexual behaviour? I mean people could just call homosexuality 'perversion' ... right? Thats exactly the kind of attitude that Pride aims to stop.
Kinky sex is not for everyone, but if its consensual - who are you to judge what other people do in the bedroom? Sure, you can enjoy all the missionary, lights off vanilla sex you want. But in the same vein people should be free to enjoy different kinds of consensual sex as adults - is that not the basic fight for gay rights anyhow? Kink and trans and bi are all included in pride because sexuality is not a black or white thing, it is fluid, and sometimes not so easily categorized. How can one call themselves a feminist, and demand equal rights for an oppressed, marginalized group such as 'women' and then step all over the rights of other marginalized groups by calling them perverted?
I also find it particularly offensive, and ignorant to make sweeping statements like "Not all diversity is in itself good. If we're aiming for maximum diversity, then pedophiles and people who have sex with animals should also be included" because there is one major element lacking with zoophiles and pedophiles - CONSENT. To lump those groups with people who are different and like to consensually use a little whip and chain - is ludicrous.
Im sorry if i come off as angry, trying not to be rude... but this is exactly the kind of attitude we need to change. Of course pride is OTT and flamboyant, and perhaps not for everyone... my dad hates it. So he makes it a point not to go there. Simple. It is a Pride *parade* after all, accepting of all alternative, kinky, pansexual lifestyles --- it is not the "Conservative, Fully Clothed & Serious Gay Superiority March"
If it offends you with its nudity, then don't go. But don't bash it or call it perverted. I myself am not a fan of some of the nudist parts of the parade... I dont enjoy seeing saggy, saline-filled, ancient balls... but i don't whine about it, because Im the one who went there in the first place.
*Shudder* at the 'and can be resolved' - What. The. Fuck. Sounds a lot like defence for corrective rape 'therapies', or conversion 'therapy'..vile stuff.
"the ideal is to be androgynous" - That might be ideal for you, but how realistic is that really? The entire world ain't dropping gender anytime soon, FYI.
I believe a *diverse* world would be best (but thats just me), part of that would be androgyny (for those who wanted it) but if everyone were androgynous, we'd be a bit like mass-produced robots. The truth of the matter is, we are born with a set of genitals, gender roles might be socialized to a great extent, but some ppl happily identify as men and some identify as women. To change everyone to an androgynous state might require socialization as well.... and how is that any different to the gender roles perpetuated now? I fight gender stereotypes for the most part, but I also like being a woman. Sue me.
Are you for freakin' real suggesting that consent as a measure of whats ethical in the bedroom and what isn't is 'problematic'?? Are you saying that people (women) oppressed by 'the Patriarchy' (and here I just see you making a joke out of what feminism is meant to be, honestly) cannot consent, because under the patriarchy they have no agency...and so there actually aren't consenting adult women. Like.... is this really what you're saying? You're not one of the ones who thinks all hetero-sex is rape are you? Have I actually come across one of you in real life?!
Of course, everyone has a right to support something or not support it. Don't support heterosex if you like... but you do ironically sound a lot like people who think homosexual sex is unnatural.
I have an issue with you demanding equal rights for one oppressed group (women) and then dismissing other oppressed/minority groups (like trans, BDSM communities, etc) . That alone is hypocritical.
Of course kinky sex, the fetish community, BDSM (bondage, domination, submission & masochism) may imitate or reproduce 'patriarchy', but they also flip it on its head. Where women are in incredibly powerful, dominant roles. Often, people in the fetish community enjoy playing with these power roles, switching them and experimenting with different dynamics. Sometimes it's even a way to challenge patriarchy and heteronormativity.
There is a very fascinating crossover going on here...one between anti-patriarchy feminism and something reminiscent of pro-patriarchy puritanical religiosity....where women should not enjoy sex or phalluses.
'I'm not a transphobe, I just think trans people's entire existence is wrong, they should be 'cured'. I'm not a sexist...I just think hetero women can't consent to sex.' Smh.
Like...these are actual things that you have said. I'm quite blown away, I must admit.
I am sometimes political in my bedroom, but I am sometimes just about having fun. I am straight and I happily consent to sex with a man. I resent people like you telling me whether I can or cannot consent.
|Apologies for the Pakistani-centric joke here. Some of you may not fully get this.|
Dear RadFems, fuck off.
You are doing feminism no favours.