Wednesday, January 11, 2012

From now on, I Swing Both Ways....

...I mean I'm accepting interviews from both Indians AND Pakistanis.... what did u think I meant? Tut tut....I'm sure my husband's heart skipped a beat when he read the title - sorry honey, thats not happening :P

I've been hearing from some wonderful Indians...and lets face it, our cultures are so similar (especially Muslim Indians)... that I think its time to spread the mango branches a bit further. So from now on, whether you're Indian or Pakistani - if you're frustrated with the way your country deals with sexuality... and you're lookin' for an outlet...come pour your little desi heart out at Nice Mangos :)



My next interviewee is a Muslim Indian, and since we've been talking about homosexuality lately, I thought this'd be a good time to introduce her. She's bi, bold, brave and honest. Gotta love a woman like that.

Mahreen, 26, Female

At what age (approximately) and how did you come to know about sexual intercourse?


Probably when I was about 12. After I had my first orgasm, I became very curious and started to read all the dodgy material in my uncle’s library. Intercourse entered the lexicon soon after.

Is Pakistan sexually repressed as a nation?

I can’t say. I know India is, but probably less than it was 20 years ago. But even now, while sexual titillation is common in movies and the like, virginity is still prized among most sections of society. You see a lot of prudishness as well, people willing to talk about things but never doing it.

Have you ever had/Do you enjoy having sex?

I love sex, in all its varied forms. Ever since I first got a taste of it as a teenager and overcame the guilt, I’ve embraced it.

On premarital sex:

I think premarital sex is fine. I can’t imagine marrying someone without being sure if there was sexual compatibility. I first had sex with a girl when I was 16, and with a guy at 18.

On Arranged Marriage:

Whatever works for you. I doubt I’d ever have an arranged marriage. The friends I know who have are a mixed bag – some are sexually fulfilled, others are deeply frustrated.

Have you had more than one sexual partner in life?

Yes, I have. Certainly more than one.

Do you think sex is something that should be explored and experimented with or should one always stick with what they know?

I think sex should be explored with whatever boundaries work for each person. Personally, I don’t like piercings, but I’m very much open to sex toys, S&M (mild) and most other roleplay.

On Sex & Equality:

It depends so much on your partners. Some guys are just selfish and lose interest once they come. Others make sure they see you over the crest as well. But even in a lesbian relationship, you can have skewed equations, with one partner very dominant.

What do you think nature and the physical differences between men and women have to do with gender roles in society?

They do have a big role, but I’d look at upbringing too. Especially in the case of desi women, who are often over-protected or made to feel subservient.

Have you ever experienced a multiple orgasm?

Yes, I have. Several times, both by myself and with partners. Usually from a combination of oral sex and fingering that stimulates the G-spot.

Have you ever found or had your g-spot found?

Yes, I have. And having it rubbed and teased certainly works for me. I found it myself first and now try and make sure my partners can locate it too.

Do you know anyone who has sex but has not yet experienced an orgasm? What are your thoughts on that?

I know of several women, yes. In most cases, it has to do with severe inhibitions rooted in childhood, or partners who just can’t be bothered.

Do you think about sex everyday? How often?

I’d say I think about it several times a day.

Do you think sex plays a major role in your life?

Of course it does. Both thinking about it, and trying to do something about those thoughts.

On Masturbation:

Love it. Every woman should indulge, as often as they can. Best way to figure out your body.

Would you morally, ethically or in any way, have a problem with marrying someone who had had sex with someone before you?

Not at all. Experience is a virtue in my book. Better that than an inept beginner.

On Pornography:

I’m a fan. I don’t watch too much of it, but I certainly am not one of the porn-haters.

To what extent, in comparison with the rest of the world, do you think people practice bestiality (sex with animals) in this country?

In India, especially in rural areas, I’d say it’s fairly common. Have also heard of a couple of people (girls) who tried things with their dogs.

As far as sex lives are concerned, do you ever wonder what other people in this country are doing and what do u think they are doing?

Judging by the population, people are having a lot of sex. Another matter whether they enjoy it freely.

What are your thoughts on homosexuality?

I’m bi myself, so I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. It’s an individual choice. Whatever turns you on.

What are your thoughts on sex change operations and the people that feel they need one?

Again, it’s an individual choice. If someone feels they need that to feel better about themselves, why not?

* * *

I think Mahreen brings up an important point when she mentions that even in a lesbian relationship the power balance can be skewed. I've read enough biased ultrafeminist texts in gender classes (at Uni) that imply only homosexual relationships can achieve equality in the bedroom. I really don't think that's the case. In my opinion, sex isn't something that you can have absolute equality in - whether you're gay or straight. Its a kind of dance, the way I see it. Because of the dynamics and whats involved, one partner has to 'lead'...sure you can switch up the roles and keep balance that way, but to have complete equality during the act...I think its impossible...theres always someone doing the fucking, and someone getting fucked. And you don't have to take that statement literally...there are a lot of ways to interpret it ;)

Next time - more on what the other interviewees had to say about Homosexuality.

* * *

Oh and for those of you on Twitter who participated in my art giveaway contest, thank you! you're all awesome. Congrats to the two lovely ladies who won @Mahnoorie and @Bhaichod.... <3 I shall mail those prints out soon!

Follow me on Twitter if you'd like to participate in future Art giveaways - @nicemangos -- mangos... not mangoes.

Toodles!

18 comments:

  1. LMAO @ moo meetha kijye ! Funny. BTW Mehreen is not a indian name but its common name in Pakusstan.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You Swing both ways ! (front & back both holes).... My desi perv mind

    ReplyDelete
  3. NJ, u never fail to amuse me with ur comments, u might as well write your initials, I can tell ur comments apart, as they are rather... umm.. 'unique'

    ReplyDelete
  4. My pleasure. Thanx for yr comments. You are unique girl too. I am really impressed. wish i had a partner like you coz you are different than other desi girls. Kabhi umrah ya haj kernay ao na i will show you around. hugs & kisses
    nj

    ReplyDelete
  5. How does finding ones sexuality add to his /(especially) her over all life or say quality of life?with myself coming from a culture where yu are raise by teaching suppressing your sexual desires or associating them with the one and only most awaited person in life, sexuality or discovering that side of myself does not make any sense to me. On the other hand there is so much sexuality in a culture like ours where every single person n family is obsessed with "marriage", its almost suffocating to live in such a society. Congrats to this bhartiya naari who is at least living her life free....but who knows there must be some limitations for her too! Lovee your laddooz eiynah, made me smile.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bhartiya Naari... do you mean Veena Malik ? Do you know what Nikah literally means in Arabic. Einah may know coz she lived in ME. It means Chudai! when a man or woman says to an eligible guy "aap humari beti se nikah ker lo" yani humari beti ki chudai kero

      Delete
  6. @ MAdcowdisease, firstly, im glad u enjoyed the luddoos :) If i put a smile on someones face, then half my job with this post is done. But second, you have to realise that marriage and sexuality are both very different from one another, they may be related at times..but that doesnt mean they are synonymous. Finding your sexuality can be a very liberating experience,aside from the physical sensation itself it can be a great way to bond with someone you care for... and to discover things about yourself too. Things that arouse you can be an insight into a side of yourself that perhaps you're not too familiar with, sometimes what one is excited by in the heat of the moment can be just as much a surprise to yourself as it is to your partner. Sexuality is a complex and layered aspect of our lives, with each layer comes more self-awareness and self-discovery. In cultures like ours where sexuality is supressed and marriage is hyped up...that first time can literally be a major 'anti-climax' especially when one is 'shooting in the dark' per se. No pun intended - but knowledge is definitely key to having a good sex life and thats something that we aren't armed with. Thats what needs to change. If there is anything more you want to talk about feel free to leave another comment or email me :) nicemangosDOTblogATgmailDOTcom Cheers!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahahahaha @ shooting in the dark... in our society they say Suhag Rat Ko Sex Kerne ka Sunnat tariqa yeh ha k "pehlay dono mian biwi wozoo ker k 2 rakat nafal parhen phir light off ker ke razai ya kambal k neechay hambistri karen".
      Reminds me of my childhood incident in our village in north Pak.. a neighbor uncle A's Suhag Raat. we made a plan to peek from roshandan late night but it was dark inside we only can hear aunties cries & beggings running from corner to corner of big room and saying allah ka wasta mujhe chhor den nahi nahi... and uncle again grabing her and pushing her by force to bed... again she run away until he pull her shilwar and then a loud cry & sobing.

      Delete
    2. Umm that is a seriously messed up story.

      Delete
  7. Thanks for replying Eiynah.

    ReplyDelete
  8. @zobia - i know right..what the actual fuck! NJ always has such tales to share. He seems to often witness rape and do nothing about it. Its awful. Dont know why he bothers commenting as anonymous at all.

    @Madcowdisease, ive been trying to respond to ur email...but that email address no longer works :(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. E ....i was thinking to make a separate id just to share between u and me. Actually that was the one, then I felt so bad and im like damn why it has to be so secretive. I will email you soon. Sorry im just weird, sometimes way to critical on my own self. Will write you soon. Stay happy

      Delete
  9. Eiynah + Zobia its not messed up or made up story bt 100% true i don't beleive in suni-sunai stories I say what my eyes see. As for why it didn't happen to others but me only I really don't know but I am sure in our society people dont tell they keep secret. BTW it was not rape it was wedding night and I was in 2nd grade that time. Yes I had mentioned rape in my earlier interview once and that was also true you can go back to any newspaper or media source in 1974 it happened in pindi some pathan frustrated laborers raped a school girl in empty lot while she was going home after school. It was in the way of my school too.
    nj

    ReplyDelete
  10. zobia if you are really curious or interested send me your email or any other contact details. Being a bi curious man I have life full of adventures I can share with you.
    goodlooks5athotmaildotcom or gdlks384ulatyahoodotcom
    ty & regards
    nj
    nj

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Err *shudder* no thanks.

      Delete
  11. Nj - I'd like to make something clear here: whether someone is married or not, if they are being forced to have sex, it is rape.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes i agree with you Eiynah but thats in your western societies or at least urban upper mid class somehow educated societies in Pakistan. Where a brides heart beats do not raise in excitement or intensive orgasms on suhag raat but in fear of long monster penis & unknown fear & pain (which they mostly happen to see by accident in their younger age; a Baba carrying fruit tokri on his head and wearing dhoti and somewhere wind blowing his dhoti up and young girls see his hanging monster penis) Majority lives in villages and mohallas in cities. You will hear scary tales about suhag raat's. 2 completely strangers who never see & knew or met each other in life and must have intercourse on their first night. BTW I say what i see & hear in person. Eiynah zindabad ! nj

      Delete
  12. madcow are you Lubna ?

    ReplyDelete